Thursday, March 09, 2006
My Mum (Still) Loves Me - by Cob Blob!
I've water-skiied her round the yard...
(She DIDN'T find this funny!)
'Cos when I finally stopped, she was...
Clearly NOT a happy bunny!
I've towed her down a road at speed
With her squawking 'Whoa!' & 'No!'
Her little feet only touching the ground...
Every 15 feet or so!
(She still loves me though...she said so later when she'd got her breath back!)
I've managed to eliminate us
Refusing three times in a row...
(Apparently quite naughty at the first...
But how was I supposed to know???)
I've chucked her head first into
The first part of a double..
As it took a while to haul her out
I thought I MIGHT be in some trouble!
(She still loves me though...she said so later when she'd stopped limping & sniffling quite so much!)
I've trampled on her tootsies
And made her squawk in pain...
I didn't mean to hurt her though
And tried hard not to do it again!
I've refused to stand, refused to load,
Refused to stop, refused to go,
Refused to walk, refused to jump...
Yet through it all, I KNOW...
My Mum STILL loves me & even though I'm big, strong, clumsy, bloody-minded & obstinate......I love her lots & lots back!!!
The Realities of Life with a Cob Blob - Food & Feeding!
1. Buy newly acquired CB a nice (expensive!) feed bowl, made of old lorry tyres or something & supposedly virtually indestructible!
2. Throw squashed flat, ripped in half, 10 quid bucket in rubbish 2 days later & buy new one!
3. Peer nervously at huge, muscled neck, of the type normally only seen on Hereford bulls, with somewhat scarily bulging underside & make mental note never to use a haynet again but to just carry on chucking all hay on floor!
4. Had decided to feed him a high-fibre diet, consisting of chaff, alfalfa, fibre nuts & balancer! As the months go by & winter food rations increase, make mental note to join gym, to build up muscles to be able to lift & carry said feed bucket without rupturing something!
5. Quickly learn to stop explaining reasons WHY to fellow liveries questions of "Does he really eat all THAT?" & instead just nod grimly & carry on walking!
6. Daughter complaining he's chucking his food all over the floor in front of his door, his preferred feeding position! Agree to 'watch him' & see if we can do something about it!
7. Put feed bucket down & shut door! Feed bucket is tipped over within seconds!
Daughter goes in & starts scooping up food & flinging it back into bucked, at which point, huge hairy hoof is planted on bucket edge & whole thing, food & all, is flipped upside-down again! Daughter calls CB a few choice names & leaves!
9. Following night, bucket is put down in farthest corner of stable & satisfied she has 'won', daughter leaves stable & toddles off! Seconds later, there is a loud crash & on investigating, find bucket is back in front of door, upside-down, food all over floor! Daughter gives up & leaves him to it!
10. Throw cracked bucket in rubbish & buy new squidgy one, in a nice pinky/purple colour, threatening nasty consequences if he kills THIS one!
11. In depths of winter, when some of the other horses are looking a tad worse for wear......go in stable to change rugs & stand back to admire vastly improved neck & body shape & sleek, glossy coat!
12. Pat CB, tell him he's gorgeous & turn to go......taking care not to trip over his upturned feed bucket or step in the small mountain of food now residing on the floor in front of his door as I leave!
2. Throw squashed flat, ripped in half, 10 quid bucket in rubbish 2 days later & buy new one!
3. Peer nervously at huge, muscled neck, of the type normally only seen on Hereford bulls, with somewhat scarily bulging underside & make mental note never to use a haynet again but to just carry on chucking all hay on floor!
4. Had decided to feed him a high-fibre diet, consisting of chaff, alfalfa, fibre nuts & balancer! As the months go by & winter food rations increase, make mental note to join gym, to build up muscles to be able to lift & carry said feed bucket without rupturing something!
5. Quickly learn to stop explaining reasons WHY to fellow liveries questions of "Does he really eat all THAT?" & instead just nod grimly & carry on walking!
6. Daughter complaining he's chucking his food all over the floor in front of his door, his preferred feeding position! Agree to 'watch him' & see if we can do something about it!
7. Put feed bucket down & shut door! Feed bucket is tipped over within seconds!
Daughter goes in & starts scooping up food & flinging it back into bucked, at which point, huge hairy hoof is planted on bucket edge & whole thing, food & all, is flipped upside-down again! Daughter calls CB a few choice names & leaves!
9. Following night, bucket is put down in farthest corner of stable & satisfied she has 'won', daughter leaves stable & toddles off! Seconds later, there is a loud crash & on investigating, find bucket is back in front of door, upside-down, food all over floor! Daughter gives up & leaves him to it!
10. Throw cracked bucket in rubbish & buy new squidgy one, in a nice pinky/purple colour, threatening nasty consequences if he kills THIS one!
11. In depths of winter, when some of the other horses are looking a tad worse for wear......go in stable to change rugs & stand back to admire vastly improved neck & body shape & sleek, glossy coat!
12. Pat CB, tell him he's gorgeous & turn to go......taking care not to trip over his upturned feed bucket or step in the small mountain of food now residing on the floor in front of his door as I leave!
