Saturday, December 24, 2005
"The Importance of Being Cute" by SWUO
OR......Small White Useless One on "How to make yourself indispensable, when you can't actually DO anything!"
Study the above picture above carefully & observe the following points, plus a few extra ones!:
1. 'Pricked ears!' This immediately makes you appear cute, friendly & approachable! This is a very basic manoeuvre & can be safely & successfully attempted by ANY pony!
2. 'The head tilt!' This is a slightly more advanced manoeuvre, as it requires SOME practice to keep your head perfectly still in that all-important 'cute' position but again, should certainly not be out of the reach of an average pony, at a basic level of fitness!
3. 'The body lean'! Now this IS an advanced manoeuvre & should only be attempted by ponies with a reasonably good level of fitness & excellent balance, or it could be misinterpreted as you trying to knock the child over, which is NOT the effect we are after at all!
What we are looking for here, is a gentle 'leaning in' towards child, enough to make physical contact but not so much that you throw them off balance!
This manoeuvre shows that you are gentle & trusting, as you are indeed putting yourself in a somewhat vulnerable position by doing it!
If you CAN pull it off however, it is one of the MOST effective manoeuvres at your disposal!
4. 'Child friendliness!' This is VITAL & whilst I understand that SOME ponies may have had previously unpleasant experiences with SOME children, it will be very much in your favour to latch onto the nice, current ones like a limpet, follow them everywhere, (at THEIR pace!), make eye contact, nuzzle them & nibble them gently in an affectionate 'mutual grooming' manner! (Check that they actually DO enjoy this first though, as you don't want them to think you are 'nipping' them!)
5, 'Appropriate noises!' Whickering, sighing & happy, relaxed snorts are all viewed MOST favourably! Keep the tone low & soft, as you don't want to startle them by excited whinnying or loud snorting until you have your hooves VERY firmly under the table as it were!
6. 'Party tricks!' Whilst it is a known fact that many of these are technically frowned upon as 'attention-seeking behaviours', it is an even MORE well-known fact that whatever they may claim, most owners actually ADORE these & can't wait to tell their friends all about your latest 'party-piece'!
I myself, have recently perfected the art of 'bucket-tossing!
Start by picking the bucket up in your teeth, prick ears & look amusing! When you feel ready to progress to actually THROWING the bucket, it is usually best to wait until the children ALL have a good view & then hurl it at the nearest adult! Children always LOVE this!
Remain looking 'cute & friendly', as there must be no hint of malice in your actions, you are simply there to 'entertain'!
Good luck! Like anything else worth doing, being cute & indispensable requires patience & practice but it will DEFINITELY be worth it in the end, as once you have wormed your way into their hearts, you are there FOREVER!
Study the above picture above carefully & observe the following points, plus a few extra ones!:
1. 'Pricked ears!' This immediately makes you appear cute, friendly & approachable! This is a very basic manoeuvre & can be safely & successfully attempted by ANY pony!
2. 'The head tilt!' This is a slightly more advanced manoeuvre, as it requires SOME practice to keep your head perfectly still in that all-important 'cute' position but again, should certainly not be out of the reach of an average pony, at a basic level of fitness!
3. 'The body lean'! Now this IS an advanced manoeuvre & should only be attempted by ponies with a reasonably good level of fitness & excellent balance, or it could be misinterpreted as you trying to knock the child over, which is NOT the effect we are after at all!
What we are looking for here, is a gentle 'leaning in' towards child, enough to make physical contact but not so much that you throw them off balance!
This manoeuvre shows that you are gentle & trusting, as you are indeed putting yourself in a somewhat vulnerable position by doing it!
If you CAN pull it off however, it is one of the MOST effective manoeuvres at your disposal!
4. 'Child friendliness!' This is VITAL & whilst I understand that SOME ponies may have had previously unpleasant experiences with SOME children, it will be very much in your favour to latch onto the nice, current ones like a limpet, follow them everywhere, (at THEIR pace!), make eye contact, nuzzle them & nibble them gently in an affectionate 'mutual grooming' manner! (Check that they actually DO enjoy this first though, as you don't want them to think you are 'nipping' them!)
5, 'Appropriate noises!' Whickering, sighing & happy, relaxed snorts are all viewed MOST favourably! Keep the tone low & soft, as you don't want to startle them by excited whinnying or loud snorting until you have your hooves VERY firmly under the table as it were!
6. 'Party tricks!' Whilst it is a known fact that many of these are technically frowned upon as 'attention-seeking behaviours', it is an even MORE well-known fact that whatever they may claim, most owners actually ADORE these & can't wait to tell their friends all about your latest 'party-piece'!
I myself, have recently perfected the art of 'bucket-tossing!
Start by picking the bucket up in your teeth, prick ears & look amusing! When you feel ready to progress to actually THROWING the bucket, it is usually best to wait until the children ALL have a good view & then hurl it at the nearest adult! Children always LOVE this!
Remain looking 'cute & friendly', as there must be no hint of malice in your actions, you are simply there to 'entertain'!
Good luck! Like anything else worth doing, being cute & indispensable requires patience & practice but it will DEFINITELY be worth it in the end, as once you have wormed your way into their hearts, you are there FOREVER!
# posted by JAK : 24.12.05
