Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Little Black One's Tip for the Day - New Rugs!
When smiling owner presents you with a new rug, which they have undoubtedly just forked out some ludicrous sum for, you may find the following tips useful:
1. Prick ears at sight of bag & stand on tippy toes, as this always pleases them immensely!
(This will cancel out the fact that the last 3 times you were due to go anywhere, you managed to lose a shoe, in a muddy field resembling the Somme, the night before!)
2. Stand VERY still while rug is being tried on! Try not to sweat, moult, fart or dribble on the fabric!
(This will cancel out the time it took them 40 mins to catch you in the pouring rain, when rushing to get to school open evening!)
3. Pose attractively when they stand back to admire new purchase!
(This will cancel out pretty much ALL minor transgressions for the last couple of months!)
4. Take care of new rug! Do not shred on fencing, allow field companions to pull at it in play, or attempt to chew it off! Rolling & covering it in mud is acceptable, as although they may squawk, they will secretly be pleased that rug is 'comfy' & that you are so happy with it, you were unable to suppress the urge to fling yourself around in it!
(6 weeks is usually sufficient for extra care to be taken to protect rug! After that, you are unlikely to be blamed for any little 'accidents' though continued care WILL earn you about a million kudos in eyes of owner!)
5. And finally, respect rug at all times when not wearing it! Pulling it off the wall, piddling on it, pooping on it etc NEVER goes down very well with owner!
(Taking care of your things will encourage owners to buy you MORE of them, so will be well worth it for you at the end of the day!)
1. Prick ears at sight of bag & stand on tippy toes, as this always pleases them immensely!
(This will cancel out the fact that the last 3 times you were due to go anywhere, you managed to lose a shoe, in a muddy field resembling the Somme, the night before!)
2. Stand VERY still while rug is being tried on! Try not to sweat, moult, fart or dribble on the fabric!
(This will cancel out the time it took them 40 mins to catch you in the pouring rain, when rushing to get to school open evening!)
3. Pose attractively when they stand back to admire new purchase!
(This will cancel out pretty much ALL minor transgressions for the last couple of months!)
4. Take care of new rug! Do not shred on fencing, allow field companions to pull at it in play, or attempt to chew it off! Rolling & covering it in mud is acceptable, as although they may squawk, they will secretly be pleased that rug is 'comfy' & that you are so happy with it, you were unable to suppress the urge to fling yourself around in it!
(6 weeks is usually sufficient for extra care to be taken to protect rug! After that, you are unlikely to be blamed for any little 'accidents' though continued care WILL earn you about a million kudos in eyes of owner!)
5. And finally, respect rug at all times when not wearing it! Pulling it off the wall, piddling on it, pooping on it etc NEVER goes down very well with owner!
(Taking care of your things will encourage owners to buy you MORE of them, so will be well worth it for you at the end of the day!)
# posted by JAK : 15.11.05
