Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Cob Blob's Tip for the Day - How to get out of Showjumping!
Cob Blob thinks showjumping is BORING! The ring is too small, the jumps are too close together, you can't get any real speed up & it's all over in less than a minute! Where's the fun in THAT?
Thundering across country is MUCH more appealing, so when owner suggests a bit of local showjumping might be 'fun', try the following:
1. Lull owner into false sense of security by behaving beautifully in trailer on way there, standing stock still whilst being tacked up & stoically ignoring EVERYTHING around you in warm-up area etc.
This serves to remind owner that you are GENERALLY a most pleasant, co-operative & nice-to-have-around little chap, which will stand you in VERY good stead later on!
2. Do ONE round of jumping without protest but neither TOO quickly NOR particularly skillfully! Ensure (despite trying your best, yeah right!) that you have at LEAST one fence down, to guarantee exclusion from any jump-off round!
This will already be sowing the seed of doubt in owner's mind that showjumping may not ACTUALLY be YOUR thing after all! Sight of owner chewing on fingerbails & muttering comments such as "well he did his best but..." or "you don't think they were a LITTLE too big for him...?" should be viewed as most encouraging!
3. Continue on this path for the next few shows but DON'T overdo it at this crucial stage in the proceedings! You don't want to be seen as blatantly disobedient or awkward, more mildy incompetent!
Stick to the odd refusal ('couldn't POSSIBLY have got round a turn like THAT'!), the odd completely demolished jump ('couldn't possibly have got round a turn like THAT but i DID try'!) & so on!
Overdoing it now will simply result in extended training sessions at home to 'correct' your wayward attitude & this is most certainly NOT what we are hoping to achieve!
4. Progress to dumping rider in jumps! They never enjoy this particularly & usually find it quite off-putting!
Try not to hurt them though & NEVER make a run for it afterwards! This again, will be viewed as 'wayward behaviour' & it'll be back to the schooling sessions!
As soon as they hit the deck, it is FAR better to stay in close proximity to them, drop your head, slump sadly & assume a forlorn expression! This at least shows you are 'loyal', 'caring' & 'sorry'!
5. You are now ready to progress to the next level!
This is now outright psychological warfare & pretty much anything goes! Keep up the good behaviour at home & prior to entering ring but once in there, don't hold back!
We have now reached the 'bend in the river' as it were & a succession of 3 refusals at the first jump will quite possibly now be enough to tip the balance in your favour!
You are almost there, so now that you have reached the 'viewed as liable to trip over the pattern on the carpet' stage, don't give up!
6. A word of caution however! This approach should ONLY be attempted if you have 'another string to your bow' so to speak! As in "Well, he's hopeless at showjumping but LOVES x-country, so what about hunter trials?" Bingo, you're a winner!
If however, you are NOT fond of x-country, dressage, driving, or anything else, be careful or you could find yourself on the internet for all the wrong reasons!
Bear in mind, they MAY decide to give it 'one last go' after a few months break, so be prepared for this & make it clear from the start that the whole showjumping idea is still a major no-no!
Happy Hunter Trialling!
Thundering across country is MUCH more appealing, so when owner suggests a bit of local showjumping might be 'fun', try the following:
1. Lull owner into false sense of security by behaving beautifully in trailer on way there, standing stock still whilst being tacked up & stoically ignoring EVERYTHING around you in warm-up area etc.
This serves to remind owner that you are GENERALLY a most pleasant, co-operative & nice-to-have-around little chap, which will stand you in VERY good stead later on!
2. Do ONE round of jumping without protest but neither TOO quickly NOR particularly skillfully! Ensure (despite trying your best, yeah right!) that you have at LEAST one fence down, to guarantee exclusion from any jump-off round!
This will already be sowing the seed of doubt in owner's mind that showjumping may not ACTUALLY be YOUR thing after all! Sight of owner chewing on fingerbails & muttering comments such as "well he did his best but..." or "you don't think they were a LITTLE too big for him...?" should be viewed as most encouraging!
3. Continue on this path for the next few shows but DON'T overdo it at this crucial stage in the proceedings! You don't want to be seen as blatantly disobedient or awkward, more mildy incompetent!
Stick to the odd refusal ('couldn't POSSIBLY have got round a turn like THAT'!), the odd completely demolished jump ('couldn't possibly have got round a turn like THAT but i DID try'!) & so on!
Overdoing it now will simply result in extended training sessions at home to 'correct' your wayward attitude & this is most certainly NOT what we are hoping to achieve!
4. Progress to dumping rider in jumps! They never enjoy this particularly & usually find it quite off-putting!
Try not to hurt them though & NEVER make a run for it afterwards! This again, will be viewed as 'wayward behaviour' & it'll be back to the schooling sessions!
As soon as they hit the deck, it is FAR better to stay in close proximity to them, drop your head, slump sadly & assume a forlorn expression! This at least shows you are 'loyal', 'caring' & 'sorry'!
5. You are now ready to progress to the next level!
This is now outright psychological warfare & pretty much anything goes! Keep up the good behaviour at home & prior to entering ring but once in there, don't hold back!
We have now reached the 'bend in the river' as it were & a succession of 3 refusals at the first jump will quite possibly now be enough to tip the balance in your favour!
You are almost there, so now that you have reached the 'viewed as liable to trip over the pattern on the carpet' stage, don't give up!
6. A word of caution however! This approach should ONLY be attempted if you have 'another string to your bow' so to speak! As in "Well, he's hopeless at showjumping but LOVES x-country, so what about hunter trials?" Bingo, you're a winner!
If however, you are NOT fond of x-country, dressage, driving, or anything else, be careful or you could find yourself on the internet for all the wrong reasons!
Bear in mind, they MAY decide to give it 'one last go' after a few months break, so be prepared for this & make it clear from the start that the whole showjumping idea is still a major no-no!
Happy Hunter Trialling!
# posted by JAK : 15.11.05
